Fox's Story
by QueenoftheNewsies
Summary: I've been on my own for 4 years. And to be deaf I've done pretty well for myself. I've never needed anybody before, but when the famous Jack Kelly helps me out. I find out how nice friends can really be, and what real love feels like.
1. Chapter 1: new beginnings

I run. I run faster than I have ever ran in my life. I'm not going back, no I can't go back. I can feel the goons behind me closing the gap between us. The next thing I know I'm pulled down behind a wagon and face to face with a boy who looks to be about two maybe three years older than me. He puts his fingers to his lips to tell me to be quiet before he looks over the wagon ever so slightly then breathes a sigh of relief. He starts saying something to me but I have no clue what it is. I point to my ear and begin to shake my head no. Realization washes over the boy as he puts it together. I'm deaf. He points to himself and overly enunciates JACK.

"Jack?" I say back to him. Luckily I read lips pretty well but it's still hard if the person talks too fast which this is New York, everyone speaks fast. He smiles and nods and then asks if I speak? I explain I didn't lose my hearing until my dad hit me too hard in the head one day when I was twelve and I haven't been able to hear ever since, but I can read lips if you speak slowly. After that he kicked me out of the house and I've been on my own for the past four years doing various small jobs to earn a little money and stealing when I couldn't find work. I'm the best pick pocket in New York. I smile proud of how well I've done for myself being deaf, a girl, and living on the streets.

"Why was Snyder after you?" He knows Snyder too.

"My dad used to work for him before he retired. My dad would pass me around to the other guards for them to do whatever they wanted with me and ever since I was kicked out Snyder's been after me to bring me back around."

"Well you are with Jack Kelly now and me and my boys ain't gonna let anything happen to you anymore." Wait this is the famous Jack Kelly that made all the papes a few years ago. He organized the strike on the papes. He must have noticed my eyes widening and realization hitting me. He laughs and gets off the ground and lends a hand to help me up.

"You gotta name?" Hmm no one has asked me that in a long time. Do I have a name? It been so long since I've heard it I don't remember what it is. I shrug my shoulders with an 'I don't know' expression. Jack gives that you poor thing look. I hate that look everyone gives that look when they find out I can't hear. I don't want his pity. I push him off the sidewalk.

"Don't give me that look Kelly I don't need a name and I can handle myself thank you very much." I huff. Stupid boy thinking I'm some kid. He laughs and puts his hands up for a truce.

"Alright alright, but I'm telling you the boys will come up with a name for you eventually." The boys? Is he really taking me to meet the newsboys from the papes? That's so exciting! I'm meeting famous people.


	2. Chapter 2: Meeting everyone

After a while we finally reach the Lodging House, I look around in awe. The foyer was a little run down but you could tell it has been spruced up recently. Suddenly a woman pops her head from behind the front desk. She is very pretty and her clothes look too nice to be living here. She smiles when she sees Jack.

"Hey Love," as she approaches us she gives Jack a kiss and he pulls her in real close. He says something and she laughs and then turns to me.

"Well hello there. Jack who is this?" I just wave and begin to look around expecting Jack to fill the girl in on everything. I see there is a pape framed on the wall and I look at it and back at the couple behind me. Ohhh that must be Katherine Pulitzer I smile at them. They are so in love I hope it works out better than it did for my parents. Jack doesn't seem like the alcoholic rage monster like my dad though. I look at the next picture and it's a wedding picture. I guess Jack and Katherine are married now… and all the boys attended. I turn to the couple and tap on the picture.

Jack and Katherine turn to me almost like they forgot I was still there. Katherine laughs when she sees what I'm pointing at. "Yes that's us, we just got married a couple of months ago and now we live here in the bedroom down the hall and run the Lodging House. Now that Jack and I both have decent jobs we can work on making this a better place for these boys, and now you. Oh it will be so nice to have another girl around. I wake up with a bunch of boys running around, I go to work with a bunch of men, and then I come back home to a bunch of boys. This will be so much fun!" She is very energetic which is nice. She holds out her hand and pulls me to a room with a bunch of beds and leads me to an empty top bunk.

"You can sleep here for now until we can find a better situation. Be prepared because the boys will be back soon and it gets kind of wild around here at night. It's also a little overwhelming." I jump up on the bed it's pretty worn but it's better than sleeping on the street or at The Refuge. I feel like I just closed my eyes when I can feel the vibrations of people running. I wake up and Katherine wasn't kidding when she said it can be wild. Teenage boys are everywhere; some are playing marbles, some are playing cards, and some are running around and jumping over the kids playing marbles. One boy in particular catches my attention, he is one of the few boys who is wearing his cap backwards. He has a cigar in his hand and is being chased around the room by a lanky boy with curly blond hair. Backwards cap boy is the first one to notice me and stops dead in his tracks allowing the blond boy to run into him knocking them both to the ground. The blond snatches the cigar before yelling at backwards cap boy. That is when backwards cap points to me and all the boys take notice that I am here. I blush and wave not really enjoying all the attention. Before anyone can say anything all the boys turn towards the door and when I look there is Jack by the door. He gestures to me and is saying something but I can't see his lips very well from across the room. In the corner of my eye I see a boy limping towards me with a crutch ignoring Jack's little speech. When he reaches my bed he waves at me and I wave back. He says something to me but I don't understand. I point to my ear and shake my head. He understood and pulls out a piece of paper and a pencil and sits down on the floor to write. I hop off my bed and sit on the floor in front of him. He turns the paper around and I read 'my name is Crutchie.' I smile and wave again, he laughs and waves then begins to write again 'do you have a name?' I shake my head no and he nods. Crutchie begins to write again when all the boys surround us and they all start talking I'm not sure whose lips I'm suppose to look at. I back up and Crutchie yells something. They all look at him in shock I guess he doesn't usually yell. I watch Crutchie as he points to the blond boy then writes 'Racetrack' then points at him again and nods. Ah that must be his name I nod my understanding. The boys figure it out and all begin to scramble around the room. Each one finds a piece of paper and a pencil or shares with others and write their names. There's a tall boy named Finch, a younger boy named Romeo, there's an African-American boy with glasses named Specs, I go around and learn everyone's name until I get to the one boy I was most curious about, backwards cap boy. His name is Albert. I stop and smile at him and he smiles back with a very boyish grin.

"So what will we call you?" Albert says as he cocks his head to the side. I smile and shrug but when I lift my hands they notice I'm holding: two caps, Racetrack's cigar, a marble, and an old shoe lace. All the boys stare at me with wide eyes and check their pockets. Not only had I picked their pockets but I had done it while they were all watching me and they never noticed.

"You sneaky little fox." Albert says with a cheeky grin. He looks over my shoulder and I turn to see Racetrack saying something. Racetrack walks over to me and grins. He spits in his hand and holds it towards me.

"Welcome to the family, Fox," I smile, spitting into my hand and shaking his.


	3. Chapter 3: first day

Later that night I am sitting on Crutchie's bed while most of the other boys are sleeping. We are writing back and forth and he is explaining to me some of the boys' real names and how they got their nicknames. I think Finch's is my favorite. Apparently when he first came to the Lodging House he was very short and round but had very skinny legs just like a bird. Eventually he hit his growth spurt and now he is very tall and lanky but the name stuck. I enjoy writing with Crutchie, its easier than trying to read lips and Crutchie is very patient when I struggle for words. I learned that he is sixteen just like me and he loves to read. He showed me his book collection under his bed and he has a pretty decent library. The other boys will find abandon books in the trash or ones that have fallen off trucks or sometimes if they get a little extra money they will buy one for his birthday. When money gets too tight Crutchie will sell a book or two but never tells the other guys or they get mad telling him those are gifts and he shouldn't have to sacrifice. But that's Crutchie, he will always put his brothers first.

Before I know what is happening I'm being shaken, I must have fallen asleep on Crutchie's bed last night. Race is standing over me with a large grin and a sad excuse for a cigar hanging out of his mouth. His shirt is half tucked and he doesn't have his suspenders on yet.

"Come on Fox, you is with me and Al today until you learn how to hawk by yourself." Huh? I'm going to what? Confusion must have been very clear on my face when Albert walks up.

"You sellin' papes with the masters until you figure it out." Oh I got it now. I jump up and run to the bathroom to get ready for the day. I freshen up and follow the boys down stairs where we pass Jack and Katherine who appear to be on their way to work as well. Katherine walks up to me and gives me a hug.

"You are going to be great, just remember to hold your chin up high," she gives a sympathetic smile and nods for me to follow the gang who have all walked out the door. I smile and run out to catch up with them. I don't know what comes over me but I run pretty hard and I leap onto the back of a certain red head with his cap on backwards. He catches me with ease but it stuns him a little almost losing his balance. He laughs when he looks back and sees me hanging onto his back. He continues to carry me looking forward and I feel the vibrations of him saying something but I can't see his lips. I look to my right and Crutchie and Race are walking together talking about something. Henry and Finch are running around with sticks trying to hit each other, Romeo is jumping around telling Tommy Boy, by his facial expressions and body language, I can only assume about a girl. The other boys run ahead to see what the headline is today. I lie my head on Albert's shoulder but before I fall asleep I'm dropped on my ass.

"What the hell Al!?" I shout and all the guys turn to me mouths wide open. Oh, they didn't know I can talk. Crutchie limps over to me and holds a hand out. I take it and he helps me up. I rub my now sore butt and glare at Albert. I open my mouth to say something else when I am suddenly aware of a tall guy a few years older standing very close to me.

"Well, well, well you seem very familiar. Have we met before?" Oscar is circling me and of course he is too stupid to realize he has taken advantage of me on multiple occasions. I pull my arm back to swing at him when my wrist is caught from behind by Morris. He shakes his head.

"Now that isn't very nice dollface, why don't you," I don't give him a chance to finish that statement when I knee him in a very private spot and as soon as he lets go my arm immediately punches Oscar in the face. Both guys on the ground I barely have time to wrap my head around what I just did when I feel someone grab me from behind. Albert throws me on his back and they all take off running with the Delancy brothers still dazed. We reach the other guys and Race is laughing explaining to them what happened.

"You ain't even a Newsie for a whole day and you've already caused trouble," Albert crosses his large arms over his chest and looks down at me. He is a good 5 inches taller than me and I'm trying my best to not show how intimidated I am. I smile and shrug trying to act cool about it. I turn to walk away when he grabs my wrist making me look straight into his beautiful eyes.

"Just try to behave before you get yourself killed, you might have gotten a few lucky shots today but you might not be so lucky next time and the Delancy brothers are serious jerks. " I just nod and look down, he lets go of my wrist and them lightly punches my shoulder. I look back up and him and he smiles that gorgeous grin that makes me melt.

"Awesome swinging by the way. Remind me to stay on your good side." I giggle and he slings his arm over my shoulder and leads me to the man that is standing behind a booth full of newspapers. The boys make a line with Race at the front he must have said something insulting because the man looks mad and the boys were laughing. I really wish I could hear, I want to be in on the joke too. The boys each pay for their papes and each one says something that makes the man a little redder in the face each time. Crutchie smiles and very politely nods and says something to the man making his expression soften a little and then its Albert's turn to take a jab. The man starts yelling and I hide behind Albert. He reminds me a lot of my father. Albert takes the papers and a bag handing me the bag and a few papes. I look down reading the headline when I notice several of the boys jump to their feet and stand defensively between the man and me. I look around confused and try to ask what's going on. Crutchie looks at me clearly upset by something.

"What happened?" I mouth to him. But he only shakes his head and then I feel an arm around my shoulders again. Albert leads me away from the man and the rest of the boys run off every which way, I guess to their own selling spots. Race is on my left and Al on my right. We walk in silence for a while but I have to know.

"What happened back there?" I look between both boys who just have a very stern look on their face. "Anthony Higgins you tell me what's going on right now." I stop and put my hands on my hips not moving until I get answers. The boys look at each other and then look at me, Albert trying to suppress laughter.

"Where did you learn that name?" Race looks at me clearly ticked at the use of his real name.

"Crutchie told me."

"Well what Crutchie didn't tell you is I don't let anyone call me that so you better watch your mouth Foxy." I glare at Race with my arms over my chest refusing to back down and he glare back but I can see the corner of his mouth twitching up. He finally breaks and starts laughing.

"Ugh I can't stay mad at you Foxy, as for Weasel he said some not very nice things that shouldn't be said in front of a girl." It was my turn to break and smile.

"Good thing I ain't a girl, I'm a Newsie."


	4. Chapter 4: the fight

"Now the trick is to look as pathetic as possible, which is why Race sells so much because he don't have to work at lookin pathetic," Albert laughs and Race tackles him to the ground and they wrestle for a minute. When they pop back up Albert has Racetrack's cigar and Race has Albert's hat both trying to get the other while keeping theirs away. I walk over and smack them both on the back of the head and grab the item from their hands; crossing my arms to hand them to their respective owners. Race puts his cigar in his mouth and Al fixes his hair before placing the cap backwards over his head.

"Like I said be pitiful, but yous bein a girl and deaf I think you won't have much trouble. Here's some people coming now, watch Racer." Albert hides me and him behind a wall while Race uses his boyish charm on two ladies. He pokes out his lip and wipes his eye with the back of his hand. Albert starts giggling and I give him a confused look.

"He told them that if he doesn't make enough money he eats his dad's cigars." I turn back and not only had both women bought a paper, they each gave him extra money. He holds up the two dimes and taunts Albert with it. Albert pushes him out of the way when he sees a man dressed in a very nice suit. He walks up to the man and gently touches the suit and smiling, he then holds up the paper telling him something. The man looking very concerned buys the paper then rushes off.

"What did you tell him?" I ask. "That the pape says something about the factory in Richmond that makes suits burnt to the ground. We might not be getting suits any time soon." I knew good and well that is not what the pape said. The factory had a small trash fire and they closed down for the weekend to make sure everything was clear. Ah, so I need to excite the headlines a little to make people want to buy it. A few moments later a man about twenty something is running around the corner. Race pushes me in front of him and the guy almost runs into me. He was very attractive in a very nice baseball uniform. I hold the paper in front of me towards him not looking up at him directly. He shakes his head.

"Sorry doll I'm late for practice." I know what he said but I act like I don't. I rub his arm in a very flirtatious way and look up at him through my eye lashes. I point to my ear and shrug. He nods in understanding then holds my chin to look up at him. I giggle and give a cheeky grin. He smiles and looks me up and down. I poke my chest out ever so slightly; he hands me the money and I give him his paper. He walks away but turns to give one final glance. I wave my fingers seductively and he rushes away. Race gives me a high five and congratulates me on a job well done. That's how the day goes and we sell all our papers. Albert doesn't say much the rest of the day and then we head off to Jacobi's to find something to eat. Some of the other boys are already there talking to an older guy around Jack's age. He is tall and skinny with dark brown, almost black hair. He starts to walk toward the kitchen when he sees us. He raises his eyebrow at me then nods and returns to the kitchen.

"That's Davey," Race says pointing towards the kitchen door. "He used to be a Newsie for a while but then he got a job working here and then when Mr. Jacobi died of a heart attack he left the place to Davey. It works out because now we can get lunch pretty cheap." We sit at a table in the back corner with the rest of the guys. Davey brings all of us a glass of water, Race and Albert split a sandwich, Romeo, Specs, and JoJo are eating a bowl of spaghetti, and Henry is shooting spitballs at Buttons and Finch. I take the pickle off Race and Albert's plate and begin eating that.

"Excuse you that is our pickle," Albert cocks an attitude and takes the pickle from my hand.

"What's your problem it's just a pickle," I say taking back the pickle. "Come on Albert, what's the matter with you, we never eat the pickle?" Race chimes in trying to make sense of Albert's mood.

"Maybe I wanted the pickle this time, you can't just assume you can take whatever you want Fox." Something tells me there is more to this than just the pickle but I leave it alone. I leave the table and start to head back towards the Lodging House. I walk for several blocks before I realize nothing looks familiar. I don't have a clue where I am at. I start to panic trying to find anything that can tell me where I am. After hours of wandering it is starting to get dark and I'm going to need to find a place to crash for the night.

I find an old building and sneak in the back door. When I get inside and my eyes adjust I find myself in a theatre. I look around and see beautiful large paintings, and crazy looking objects. I get so caught up in taking it all in I don't notice someone is behind me until I feel a tap on my shoulder. I let out a scream and turn around to see Jack in an apron covered in paint. I clutch my chest and try to steady my breathing. He holds in hands up in truce but the moment I catch my breath I punch him in the side.

"What the hell Jack, you have me a heart attack." Jack just smiles and turns to one of the large paintings that is about half painted half bare and begins to paint the bare areas. "You painted this?" I ask in awe of the beautiful picture that appears to be a forest.

Jack just laughs, "Fox I painted all the backdrops here. I come here during the evenings to help Miss Medda out. It helps me clear my head." I look at all the different backdrops as Jack called them amazed that someone can be so talented. "So, word on the street is you and Albert got into it today at the Deli." I look at him confused, how could he have possibly known that. "Davey told me," he says as if he read my mind, "and all the boys have been searching everywhere trying to find you once they got to the Lodging House and you weren't there. So, are you going to tell me what happened?" Jack looks at me expectantly but when I don't say anything he goes back to painting. Finally, I hop up on some boxes to sit and sigh.

"I don't even know what happened, he was fine this morning and then something happened when we were selling papes and he just stopped talking to me. Then at the deli he just blew up for no reason." I throw my hands up in exasperation at the last part lying backwards on the boxes. I feel a tap on my feet and I prop myself on my elbows to look at Jack.

"Were you flirting to sell papes?" He asks the question like he already knows the answer. How dare he assume he knows me. I flirted with one guy and it wasn't that big of a deal, but right after that was when Albert stopped talking to me. "Do you think he's jealous?" I ask sitting up completely now.

"I mean it's none of my business but it seemed like you two had something going on this morning when you left the House." Jack sets his paint brushes aside and sits on the ground in front of me. "Was something going on this morning?"

"Jack, we were just messing around. It didn't mean anything. Did it?" I knew I felt a little closer to Albert but that was just because I enjoyed his company, we bonded easily. "I looked like it meant something from where I was standing but what do I know?" Jack stands up, takes off his apron and brushes the seat of his pants off. "I think I'm just about done for the night are you coming back to the Lodging House with me?" He looks at me and I think for a minute. Am I really ready to go back and deal with all the boys right now? "I think I'll just stay here if that's okay." Jack looks around the room and then smiles.

"What better place to escape troubles than a theatre? Follow me and I'll show you where some blankets and a cot is." Jack shows me the cot and blankets, then shows me the bathroom. I walk with him to the door. "Are you sure you want to stay?" He asks one last time. I nod my head and he nods his and out the door he went. I walk onto the stage and look out onto all the seats and the backdrops. Wrapped in the moment I start to sing a song I haven't heard since my mom died. I shut my eyes and sing. I can't hear myself but when I close my eyes I'm back to being five years old and listening to my mother sing it. A tear falls from my eye and I quickly wipe it away with the back of my hand. I go back upstairs to the backstage area and find my cot. I lie down and the moment my head hits the cot I fall asleep thinking a certain redhead with his cap on backwards.


	5. Chapter 5: Home

**Author's note: Sorry it took so long, my computer erased half of this chapter and I had to go back and rewrite it.**

 **Thank you readers for reading my story and please stay with me and leave reviews! Let me know where you think/want this to go.**

 **A special thank you to Bexlynne I love your stories and your review made my entire week, I've been trying to hurry and finish this chapter just for you!**

* * *

I wake up to the vibrations that feel like large heavy objects are being moved around. I follow the vibrations to see a larger African American woman pointing and clapping her hands and several men moving Jack's backdrops and other things. There's something very familiar about the woman like I have seen her in a dream or something. I stub my toe on a large wooden tree and let out a yelp. I cover my mouth and look over and sure enough the woman has spotted me. Before I can run she smiles and waves me over to her. I slowly walk towards her.

"You must be Fox. Jack was telling me about you last night. I'm Miss Medda Larkin." She gives a very dramatic bow and I let out a small giggle. I can tell she is very over the top, from her clothes to her attitude, she isn't someone you would want to mess with. "Were you the one I heard singing last night?" She asks me and I immediately start to blush. I thought I was the only one here last night, no one was supposed to hear me. I nod my head and she smiles.

"Baby, you got a beautiful voice. Where did you learn that song?" I explain that my mother used to see that song to me before she died. Miss Medda looks at me with a curious look and holds her hand out to me. I take it and she leads me off the stage and into a hallway. The hallway has lots of posters and framed newspaper articles and pictures. We walk to the end of the hallway and Miss Medda stops and points to a newspaper picture with an article beside it. The picture has a woman in a very large costume and she looks to be singing.

"Honey, is this your mother?" I look at Miss Medda confused and then turn back to the picture. I study it for a minute when, suddenly, the memories start flooding back. I had been in this theater before. My mother was a singer and a dancer. She used to bring me here to watch her shows, and I would help out during her rehearsals; sometimes I would paint props, or sweep the floor, just little odd jobs to keep me busy and quiet. We would come here when my old man got drunk and she would practice her routines trying to shield me from my own father. I've known Miss Medda half my life, that's why she looked so familiar. I start to cry and Miss Medda wraps me in her arms. She lets me cry for a while then moves so I can look at her.

"Welcome home Elizabeth," I see that she is crying too. "Baby girl I haven't seen you since you were eight years old. What happened to you?" We walk down the rest of the hall to a little office area and we sit down. I tell her about when Mama died Pops started drinking more than before. He was always mad about something and my punishments were usually being sent to the Refuge. I tell her about losing my hearing at twelve and being kicked out, about living on the streets, and about Jack finding me.

"Did they take advantage of you at the Refuge?" Miss Medda looks at me with tears in her eyes. I can't even bring myself to look at her. I turn my head looking down and begin to cry all over again. She takes ahold of my chin and makes me look at her. "Baby they shut that place down for a reason and I promise Jack and I are never going to let anything like that happen to you again." I hug her and we just sit there while I cry on her shoulder and she strokes my hair. I can't believe I ever forgot about this place and the people here. When I was little there was nothing I wanted more than to be a performer like my mother and now I would never get that chance. I will never hear the music again. I finally calm myself and look at Miss Medda, I'm finally home.

"You know, as much fun as selling newspapers is, how would you like to have a job here at the theater. I could use an assistant to help me out running the place." My eyes light up and I can't find the words so I just vigorously nod my head. I hug Miss Medda's neck. This is where I belong. "This is where your mother would have wanted you to be." I smile at her kind words.

The rest of the day Miss Medda shows me around and explains to me what all I would be doing. I'm to help move props, sew costumes, sweep the floors, help take notes during rehearsals, and change the marquee. She then introduces me to all the other stage crew and performers. Everyone is very welcoming and there's a few people who remember my mom and me. We work on a way to get my attention if backdrops go flying. If something is going on and I don't notice, one of the men will drop a large metal beam and that's my cue to move off stage quickly, or if I'm off stage then I'm needed on stage. This keeps the crew from having to run all over the theater to look for me. People aren't usually so understanding about my deafness, but the fact they want to work with me and don't treat me like I'm handicap is new and refreshing. I take off my shoes and head to the costume room to begin working on sewing some costumes that are getting worn and torn. I'm almost finished with the last costume when I feel the vibrations under my feet. I set down my needle and thread, throw on my shoes, and make my way back down to the stage. I turn the corner and there's all the guys. Once they see me they all come running towards me. After what seems like the hundredth hug they all start to talk to me at once. I hold up my hands and they stop.

"We've been looking everywhere for you Foxy and then Jack wouldn't let us come and get you until we all sold all our papes today. He said you needed space," Crutchie spoke up first and I felt so bad for not thinking about him when I didn't go back. I look from boy to boy each one looked either hurt or mad at me and I notice Albert in the back of the group looking more pained than anyone.

"Well we are together now," I smile and give a small squeeze to Crutchie's shoulder. "Let's go home," everyone's eyes light up at me calling the Lodging House home. What they didn't know was it wasn't the Lodging House that was home it was them. Everything seemed to be as it should when we start walking Race and Albert lead the way and the rest of the boys run around and play. Crutchie and I keep the back staying a few steps behind the rest of the group.

"Did you mean it Foxy?" We are almost back to the Lodging House when Crutchie finally asks the question I know he has been thinking about since we left the theatre. "Mean what?" I question not sure where he was going with this.

"Is the Lodging House your home now?" He looks so innocent at that moment I almost forgot he was sixteen like me. For a second I swore he was much younger looking up to a parent hoping for a little joy.

"Crutchie home isn't a place, it's a feeling. I haven't had that feeling in a very long time but when I am with you guys, I'm with family and that makes it home." He smiles and nods and we continue the rest of the walk in silence. We make it back to the Lodging House and are greeted at the door by Katherine. She hugs all the boys and works her way through the crowd to me. Katherine hugs me for what seems like eternity, I'm not used to this much hugging and I've been hugged a lot today as is. She then steps back and looks at me.

"We've missed you, last night just did not feel right without you here." I wouldn't dare admit that while I've spent many nights alone last night was the loneliest I have ever been. These boys have made a real impact on me in the very short time I've known them. Katherine looks over her shoulder and there is Jack who is signaling her with his eyes. She looks like she is about to protest when he gives her another looks and she sighs. They say their goodnights and head back to their room. Everyone starts to go to their bunks when I see Albert just standing around in the foyer. I sit on the bench letting him say the first word. He paces for a moment trying to find the right words. I can't stand it anymore.

"I'm sorry for yesterday," we say at the exact same time. We both bust out laughing and I notice his dimples, his freckles, the way he smiles more to one side than the other, am I falling for Albert? I mean I think I want to kiss him, do I want to kiss him? We both stare at each other and I can feel myself leaning in. He wraps his hands in my hair and I close my eyes, but in that moment I'm back at the Refuge. I see Oscar and Morris and all the other guards laughing and taunting me. I feel their lips on my neck, cheek, and chest. I push them away, but when I open my eyes I pushed Albert away. I see the hurt in his eyes and I can't bear to look at him. I run to my bed and pull the blanket over my head. I cry and find no peace because even in my dreams I can't escape the Refuge.


	6. Chapter 6: A Nightmare

I wake up in the middle of the night covered in sweat. I look down and there's Crutchie leaning against my bed to support himself. He holds a finger to his mouth with one hand signaling to stay quiet and jerks his head towards the open window. I hop off my bed and follow him. I watch as his hooks his arm through his crutch and crawls out the window onto the fire escape.

"Crutchie what are you doin!?" I almost scream leaning half way out of the window. He just smiles and starts climbing to the roof. I watch for a moment thinking about how Jack is going to kill me if Crutchie falls.

When he notices I'm not following he taps the ladder a few times lightly just enough to make vibrations. I sigh and hop onto the ladder taking one more look inside to make sure no one saw us doing this. 'We are going to be in serious trouble for this' I think to myself and I start climbing. I finally make it to the top and see Crutchie sitting on an old mattress next to a lantern with a book in his hands like he had been there all-night long.

"Took you long enough," he smiles and pulls back a blanket patting the space next to him. I sit down and lay the blanket over my legs. The wind is blowing just enough to need a light blanket but the weather is fantastic. "You were having a nightmare," Crutchie says laying the book to the side and moving to where he was facing me.

"How could you tell?" I look down ashamed that I let Albert affect me like that. The poor guy didn't mean anything by it and I completely freaked out. Crutchie moves his head so he is in my line of vision, "Fox, it's a wonder you didn't wake all the guys up you were whimpering so loudly, but usually when one of the guys has a nightmare he is full on screaming. What were you dreaming about?" I stay quiet for a minute remembering all those nights I had spent in the closest thing to Hell on Earth.

"Crutchie have you ever been to The Refuge?" Crutchie's eyes were huge, his expression alone told me my answer.

"Fox most of the boys here have been at one time or another, but I don't ever recall a girl being in there," I'm sure he knows where I'm going with the story before I even start. I can tell by his pained expression.

"Usually they don't take girls there but they have once or twice, but lucky me was in and out of that hell at least once a month and depending on how long I stayed determined how long it took me to go back. My father was one of the Synder's guards. If he ever thought I had messed up or if he just wanted a raise he would take me to that place and let those men do whatever they wanted to with me. Some just like to beat on me and I could handle that, it was the ones that wanted more from me that I couldn't stand. The way they would kiss me and touch me would make me sick. Most of the clothes I owned were ripped because the men couldn't wait to have their way with me. If I screamed or said a word they would knock me around and still have their way. There was no escape, I eventually learned to just stay quiet and let it happen. I would turn limp so they didn't get as much enjoyment out of it but it still didn't stop them." I felt my bottom lip start to quiver but I refuse to cry. If I cry over it that means they've won and I won't let them have that over me. Crutchie sits there in shock, I can tell he is looking for the right words. "I guess even in my dreams I knew to keep my mouth shut huh," I let out a sad excuse of a laugh trying to ease the tension.

"Fox, I had no idea," the gimp boy tries to finish but I cut him off.

"No one does, and I don't want them too. I don't want them thinking I'm weak and need protecting or I'll have some kind of breakdown at any moment."

"Fox, Albert needs to know. He is heartbroken thinking he did something to you. Doesn't he at least deserve to know what has gotten you so upset. He"

"Don't you dare say it Crutchie!"

"loves you," Crutchie finishes. I can't even kiss the boy without going back to that hellhole. He can't love me, I'm broken. "This used to be where me and Jack slept when it was warm outside. It was easy to escape the world up here. He'd never admit it but I think he liked to sleep up here so no one would see in case he had a nightmare too. If you feel like you need to stay up here to keep the other boys from seeing you then you can, but just remember everything you've gone through we have too. Maybe not the same way but we all know what it's like to be there. We are your brothers and we will always want to protect you. All I ask is you at least consider talking to Al. When you didn't show up last night that was the first time I had ever seen him mad. He was throwing stuff and punched the wall, then once the anger was gone he started to cry. And let me tell you Albert Ferguson doesn't cry. He was already in love with you Foxy, and he thought he really messed things up with you, then he tries to kiss you and you run away crying. Fox, that can't be easy for him either. Maybe you need him as much as he needs you."

I'm exhausted between the crazy day, the rollercoaster of emotions, and the strenuous lip reading I've done all day I can't seem to find the energy to argue with Crutchie anymore. I just lie down on the mattress to get what couple of hours of sleep I can. I feel Crutchie lean over to blow out the lantern and lie next to me stroking my hair.

I wake up to the sound of the clock tower chiming. Crutchie is gone, but there is a note where he was sleeping.

'Fox, you aren't broken. You just lost, let us help you find yourself. Your brother, Crutchie'

I stare at the note and sigh. If heaven is real then that boy will have extra jewels in his crown that's for sure. I put the note in my pocket and climb down the ladder. I peak in the window and it looks like all the boys are already on the streets. I climb through the window and make my way to the bathroom to clean up. When I finish I feel the vibrations like something has fallen. I look out in the hall but I don't see anything, but the door to Jack and Katherine's room is slightly open. I knock on the door and Katherine appears.

"Sorry I accidentally knocked over a chair in my haste to get to the toilet." She explains to me. I look inside the room and its small with only a bed and a dresser. There's a small wardrobe for Katherine's dresses and a room that looks to be the bathroom.

"Are you sick?" I look at her questioningly. She didn't seem sick last night.

"Well, not exactly. I haven't told Jack yet so don't say anything to the others," I give Katherine another look. What has she not told Jack? I don't understand. "I'm pregnant." She states with a huge smile on her face. "We weren't planning on starting a family so soon but it just sort of happened I guess. I've been waiting for the right moment to tell Jack, but I'm scared when he finds out he will want to move. He'll say something like 'This place is no place to raise a baby' and I can't think of a better place to raise a baby where all his or her uncles….and aunt will be right across the hall." She is starting to speak faster and faster and it's getting harder to read her lips so I just smile and nod. When Katherine finally stops I give her a hug.

"I don't know anything about babies, but I know yours will never have to worry about someone loving them. There is plenty love in this place for a hundred babies." I laugh and so does Katherine. She excuses herself to go to work and I head towards the theater. When I get there, I go straight to the costume room to finish repairing the costume I was working on yesterday. I see a note on my table from Miss Medda.

"Elizabeth, I just wanted to let you know I'm going to be out of town today. Feel free to do as you please around the theatre. Love Medda"

Wow, my first official day on the job and I can do whatever I want. I finish the costume and notice some fabric bundled up in the corner. I pull out the fabric taking in the beautiful colors, the greens and blues remind me of a peacock. Miss Medda did say I could do what I wanted. I start cutting and pinning and sewing the fabric the way I watched a seamstress in upper Manhattan do. I work for hours and then look at the clock. It's almost 1 and most of the boys will be at the Deli getting lunch, maybe I should visit. I start walking towards where I think the Deli is when I see Specs. I whistle at him and he runs across the street over towards me.

"Hey Fox, going to the Deli?" I nod. "Me too, come on, it's this way." Specs leads me to the Deli which really isn't that far from the theater. I must had been going in circles when I was lost yesterday. We walk in and of course all the boys are already there. They smile when they see me and I smile back. I sit down next to Race and Davey greets me with a glass of water. I lock eyes with Albert and give a small smile trying to signal everything was okay. He smiles weakly back and hands me the pickle from his and Race's sandwich. I take it and begin to eat while watching the guys cut up around us. They are all moving around and laughing while they talk I can't read their lips very well so I don't really know what's going on. I lean back and sigh.

"You okay, Foxy?" Race asks abandoning the bite he was about to take of his sandwich.

"I'm okay. It's just… I've been deaf for four years and I've grown to deal with it, but when I'm with you guys I feel like I'm missing out on everything." I take a bite of my pickle and look back at the boys having such a fun time, today must be a good selling day. Albert waves a hand to get my attention.

"Fox, you know all you have to do is talk to us. We will help you with whatever you need." I know he isn't just talking about the deafness. I can see it in his eyes. In the corner of my eye I see Crutchie giving me a look saying I should just talk to Albert. I sigh again.

"I know you will Al and I appreciate it. I better be getting back to the theater I've got a project to finish." I start to leave the table when Race stands up too.

"So, you giving up on being a Newsie? Never selling another pape?" He smiles and cocks his head with him arms folded across his chest. I can't help but laugh.

"I wouldn't say never, but I think I'll do better at the theatre than I ever would selling papes. You don't want me slowing you down." I cock my head to the side as well and mirror Racetrack's stance. So, am I really not a Newsie anymore, Racer?" He laughs and lightly punch my shoulder.

"Don't worry kid, you'll always be a Newsie to us." I nod and start towards the door. I make eye contact with Crutchie, and I know he is telling me to talk to Albert but I just can't do it right now.

I do, however, turn back to Race and Albert, "When you two bozos finish selling papes feel free to come by the theater to walk me home." It wasn't what Crutchie wants me to do, but it's a step in the right direction, I guess. They both smile and give me a thumbs up. I smile back and when I turn around Crutchie smiles and nods as if to say good job. I grin to myself and go back to the theater.

After hours and hours of work I wipe the sweat off my brow and hold up my latest creation. I did it. I made a real dress. Of course, it's a costume dress because it is way too revealing to wear on the street but I love it. The blue bodice is tight with green off-shoulder straps. The skirt is very short in the front with the blue and green fabric flowing in the back ruffled just the right way. It looks very comparable to a peacock and the colors will look fabulous under the stage lights. Unable to control myself I try on the dress. It fits me perfectly. I look at myself in the mirror and I can't help but admire myself. I always thought of myself as plain. My hair was light brown at a medium length. My skin was tan from hardly ever staying indoors. My body was average looking but on the skinny side from not always eating. I see Albert and Racetrack in the mirror behind me both mouths wide open. I turn to face them.

"Foxy you look," Race starts.

"Beautiful," Albert finishes. I blush and turn back towards the mirror I slowly touch the fabric admiring my work, when Albert is suddenly next to me. He looks me up and down. "Did you make this?" I smile and nod and Albert whistles. "Fox, you did an amazing job where did you learn to sew?"

I explain that my mother used to be a performer here so I picked up a few things from always being here. I also worked for a seamstress in upper Manhattan for a few months last year, and I would watch her while I swept or washed or whatever I was doing that day. I walk behind a divider and change back into my normal clothes. When I finish, the three of us walk to the Lodging House. The boys talk about their selling day. Race went to his usually spot at the horse races to sell and gambled a little bit. He made a few dollars with that so he wanted to do something special with the money but wasn't sure yet. Everything was fine until I felt someone from behind me grab my wrist. I try to jerk it away but when I look up its Snyder. I feel a scream coming up with I see him raise his club and all goes black.


	7. Chapter 7: Hell

**Hey guys! I love your reviews please keep them coming. I know that was evil of me to leave you hanging on that last chapter. But something I realized as I read other stories to help find inspiration, apparently we all like to write stories involving rape and I'm really not sure what that says about Fansies. haha**

 **Y'ALL! I had a dream last night that Sky Flaherty read this story and I didn't know you could be embarrassed in dreams but apparently you can. (If you didn't know I was using Sky as Albert before well now you do.)**

 **Now I know that this could never happen in real life but it's my story and I can do whatever haha (you'll know what I'm talking about when you get there)**

 **Bexlynne: I don't know will the boys help her? MUAH HAHAHA ;)**

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I wake up in a dark room. I barely open my eyes when I feel the need to vomit. There's a bucket next to me and I empty what little contents of my stomach I have into it. There's a loud ringing in my head and that doesn't help the pounding headache I have. Once my eyes finally adjust I see I'm in what looks like a cell. I'm on the ground next to a bed frame that has some plywood where the mattress should be. It doesn't take me long to put two and two together.

I'm at the Refuge.

But how? Medda said they shut this place down. I jump to my feet but that was the wrong thing to do. I immediately get sick again but there's nothing left in my stomach to heave up. I fall back onto the ground hard. I feel the vibrations of someone walking towards me. I crawl to the cell bars and slowly pull myself up to my feet. Sure enough there is Oscar, Morris, and a man I wish would just die and go to hell already, Gordon.

"Well, well, well, look who is back. We missed you around here Lizzy," Gordon taunts me and Oscar and Morris snicker behind him. I spit making sure it hits his face. "Why you little," he grabs my shirt through the bars and pulls me as close as he can, "just wait until I get the okay and you'll regret the day you were born Lizzy." I must have a better memory that I thought because I was almost positive I could hear a muffled version of his voice. His voice was one I would never forget. I hated the way he called me Lizzy. He was the only one that did. Gordon throws me on the ground and the three of them walk away.

I try to remember how I got here. I remember the theatre and walking back to the Lodging House, but I feel like I was with someone. Maybe not. Its cold and damp here and I wish I had thicker clothes on. I curl up into a ball in the corner and think about the boys. I think about Crutchie's face when he reads, Race when he is playing cards and no one else notices him bluffing, I think about Romeo talking about some girl he met that day; the next face that flashes through my head is my red head, my boy with his cap on backwards. I would give anything to see his face right now, to see his smile.

"Oh Albert, save me from this God forsaken place," I rest my chin on my knees and close my eyes willing all this to be just another nightmare. Crutchie will wake me up any minute now I know it. The next thing I know someone is pulling me to my feet by my hair. I let out a scream of pain and Gordon slaps my face with the back of his other hand.

"Shut your mouth you stupid bitch, let's have some fun shall we?" I try to pull away but he has a tight grip on my hair. I swear it's almost like my brain wants me to remember what his voice sounds like and it's not a sound I want to remember. Instincts kick in, I refuse to let him touch me again. I start swinging and get a good punch in to his nose. He releases my hair and I have a split second to run out the door that he stupidly left open. I make maybe eight feet down the hall when I feel a hand on my head again. He throws me to the ground and drags me by my hair down the hall towards the stairwell to the basement. I scream and kick trying to escape. We pass by several cells and that's when I hear it.

I hear him. I never thought it would happen. How is this possible? I can hear? Am I imagining it? But even though I never heard his voice before I know it's him. His voice is just like I thought it would.

"FOX!" Albert is screaming and banging on metal. Oh no. He's been caught too. I scream his name hoping he can hear me. That's when I hear two voices calling me. Race has been caught too. We pass their cell and for a moment I'm relieved at least they are together. They will escape if they have each other.

"What are you doing to her!? Leave her alone, take me, TAKE ME!" Albert banging his fists on the bars. Gordon stops and backtracks towards the cell.

"Well, what do you know, little Lizzy has been cheating on me. Tell me, _boy_ does she love you like she loves me? Does she scream your name when you take her at night? Did you know she likes her hair pulled while you whisper in her ear?" If looks could kill Gordon would be _under_ the Refuge by now with the looks Race and Albert were giving him. "Trust me boy she isn't worth your time. She's a whore, nothing more than a common slut. So why don't you stay quiet and I'll put in a good word to Snyder to let you free. She's mine now." I just whisper I'm sorrys to Albert as Gordon drags me down towards the basement.

In my fragile psychologic state, I could have sworn I heard Albert say "Foxy, be strong we'll get you out of here. I love you," and with that the door slams behind me and all that is left is the basement.

Gordon pushes me hard and I roll the rest of the way down to the basement landing with a loud thud. I slowly push myself onto my feet and am greeted with a slap to the face. I right myself and spit blood on him. He growls and punches me knocking me to the floor.

"It's been too long Lizzy, you forgot the rules," I try to stand back up but he kicks me in the side. I yell out, grabbing my abdomen.

"You aren't going to touch me anymore Gordon. I'm not some toy for you to play with." I say with labored breathing. I'm on all fours trying to find the strength to stand. I'm not going down without a fight. I used to just take it, but those boys are counting on me.

"Well maybe I need to remind you who is in charge here sweetheart." Gordon grabs my hair and swings my into the wall. I hit it hard knocking the wind out of me. He pulls me back up and grabs one wrist, I start trying to throw punches and kicks but I'm exhausted. The bastard puts my wrists in shackles that keep my arms spread and over my head so I have to stand on my tiptoes to touch the ground. I keep trying to fight but the more I move the more it hurts. He rips my shirt off leaving me bare for anyone to see if they walked by. Gordon starts to kiss my neck making his way down to my breasts. He pauses there when I feel the cold steel on my bare stomach. I hiss when he slides it across just enough to draw blood. "I'm going to carve you like a chicken for dinner." He slices me all over making sure to miss important veins. I scream for him to stop. I scream for Albert. I scream for death. Gordon just laughs and watches me as he cleans his knife with a handkerchief.

He tsks, "now Lizzy you know if you are going to scream it should only be my name."

"Go to hell!" I muster up what little energy I have to spit on him.

"Baby, don't be like that. But it does give me enjoyment to know that the more you yell, the more frustrated that little boyfriend of yours becomes. He'll get foolish and make a mistake and then I'll get to play with him to.

"Don't you dare touch him! I'm the one you want Gordon. Leave him out of this!" I tug on the chains willing them to break so I can strangle him.

"Ah are you finally willing to comply?" I want nothing more than to punch that snake like grin right off his face, but I think back to Albert. He has to get out of here, him and Race both. The other boys depend on him and Race is basically running the 'Hattan newsies since technically Jack has stepped down. They've only known me a few days it won't take them long to forget about me. I'll be like a distant memory and their lives can go on like they never met me. I'm disposable they aren't.

"If I stay quietly will you let Albert and Race go free?" He plays with his knife as he thinks.

"Fine, I don't get as much enjoyment out of boys anyway." He unlocks the shackles and drags me back upstairs to my cell. When he locks me in he goes back to Albert and Racer's I can hear the scuffle. Race is probably the best fighter in the newsies, but Gordon is bigger and more experienced. I try to cover myself as I scoot towards the bars to get a better look. I watch him lead the boys down the hall handcuffed. When Albert sees me he breaks free and holds my hand through the bars.

"I'm not leaving without you."

"Albert go, those boys need you. Forget about me." I weakly smile pretending I'm not covered in blood, scars, and bruises. He'll be safe that's all that matters.

"I'll get you out of here I promise." And before I can change my mind to tell him to hurry back to me Gordon has him in his grip again and drags them both down the hall and out the door. I didn't want to tell Albert, but I don't think he will see me alive again.


	8. Chapter 8: My Savior

**I love this chapter and I have big plans for the next few chapters after this so hang on. I've gotten several comments about Jatherine and don't worry guys they and baby Jatherine will be a much larger part in the next few chapters.**

 **Remember to review, let me know what you guys think!**

 **Fanz4Life: sorry I just now saw your comment. My avatar is my own Bitmoji :)**

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I have no idea how long I've been in here. There's no windows to use the sun to tell. The only thing that is constant around here is if I get something to eat it means playtime is coming soon. If I'm fed I have more energy to last longer before passing out. Just like clockwork Morris comes in and tosses me a dirty plate with a hard biscuit, a potato that is starting to rot, and some brown water, then leaves. I eat it the food trying to prepare myself for what will be coming in just a couple of hours. My hearing keeps going in and out and sometimes it's nice and sometimes it gets me in trouble. If someone is asking me a question and I don't understand or don't hear it all or any of it then my punishments are worse, but it's nice when I don't have to listen to the awful things they whisper or say as they use me.

I finish my food and just try to keep myself warm. I know the weather must be getting colder outside because I can see my breath now. I lie down on the ground thinking I have a minute to snooze before they come and get me, but as soon as I close my eyes I can feel the vibrations of someone coming. I sit up and wait for them and this time it's Benjamin. I follow him down to the basement. The moment my foot hits the bottom he turns me around and slaps me across the face. Once I'm on the ground he is on top of me kissing me shoving his tongue down my throat. I close my eyes and try to pretend I'm at the Deli with the guys or at the theatre with Miss Medda I wish I was anywhere but here. Benjamin grabs my hands and holds them above my head. He holds my hands down with one hand and uses the other to get the scraps I have left of my shirt out of his way. He runs his tongue down my body leaving bites here and there. When he makes his way up to my mouth again I have my head turned and that was apparently the wrong thing to do.

"Do I disgust you, whore?" He slaps my face and stands up. I don't answer him knowing nothing I could say would help the situation. He stomps hard on my left leg and I scream out. He got too much enjoyment of that because then he pulled me by my hair to make me stand causing me to scream again. He gets a few punches in here and there to my face and upper body. Benjamin starts to laugh as he gets some idea in that head of his. He grabs my arm and throws me against the wall and chains me up.

"Maybe a few days down here with no food will teach you to respect people," and with that he was gone. Being stretched like this makes it hard to breathe as is and then to add the brutal pounding I just received doesn't help. Just a few hours into this punishment already had me going crazy. It was dark, cold, and damp, I barely had clothes on, this was a nightmare. I scream out hoping someone will have mercy but I know no one is listening.

" _Oh, Shenandoah I long to see you_

 _Away you rolling river_

 _Oh, Shenandoah I long to see you_

 _Away, I'm bound away_

' _Cross the wide Missouri."_

I cry and sing the song that my mother would sing to me to calm me during storms. I always hated thunderstorms and right now I would much rather be outside in a thunderstorm. I need to find some peace with what my life has come to. I won't ever make it out of here alive.

" _Fox!"_ I hear someone half whisper. I try to focus my eyes but it's too dark to see anything.

"Who's there?" I say back to the stranger.

"It's Jack," I almost scream for joy when Jack shushes me. He comes closer and I can finally make out his face. He yanks on my chains and studies them as if they are a puzzle.

"What are you doing here, Jack? They'll kill you if they find you here!" He doesn't look at me still trying to figure out the locks.

"Fox, I turned twenty yesterday. They officially can't touch me I'm not underage," he finally looks at me, "oh Fox, I'm glad I forced Albert to stay behind. You look like hell. Don't worry I'm going to get you out of here." Jack must have been working on chains for an hour with no luck. This was it, there's no escaping.

Suddenly the door swings open and Jack ducks behind a wall. I see Gordon coming down the stairs, he doesn't make it half way to be before I smell the alcohol. He stumbles his way to me giggling and cursing, this can't end well. Gordon strokes my face mumbling something about how pretty I was chained up. He grabs my body pulling me to him, straining my arms on the chains. I scream. He laughs. He kisses me and I try to kick him off me. He grabs for his knife when Jack tackles him to the ground. They scuffle on the ground when I hear the clinking of Gordon's keys; the keys to the chains.

"Jack get the keys!" I scream to him. Jack gets a few punches in knocking Gordon out cold. He grabs the keys and releases me from my shackles. I fall into his arms too weak to stand and cry. Jack picks me up bridal style and carries me back up the stairs. He looks both ways down the hallway and when the path is clear starts towards the door. Almost to the door I hear a whistle.

"SNYDER!" I yell. Jack throws me onto his back and runs for the door, me hanging on for dear life. Snyder, Benjamin, and Angus are right on our tails, Oscar and Morris block the door and Jack does the stupidest thing ever; he breaks through a window. We drop to the ground and I can hear the whistles right behind us. Jack cuts through some alleys and backways and we finally lose them. Jack slows down to catch his breath.

"Jack you're bleeding." I state looking at his arm that he must have used as the force to break the window.

"It looks worse than it is," he plays it off, but I don't listen. I rip off what little of my shirt I have left forgetting about the cold and wrap his arm in it against his protests. He picks me up like a child and I wrap my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck. He wraps me up the best he can in his arms and carries me a few more blocks when we make it to the theater.

"Jack why are we at the theater?" I say getting off him and looking around for some kind of clothes inside.

"Fox, there's no way I can take you back to the Lodge looking like that. The guys will go and try to take on Snyder and get themselves killed. Let's clean you up the best we can first." Jack looks at me with tears in his eyes. I've cried enough while I was there I have no tears left but I do hug him. He hugs me back stroking my hair and whispering calm words. I think the words were more for himself than me. I feel a tap on my shoulder and there is Miss Medda with her arms outstretched, I hug her and she guides me to a bathroom to help me clean up.

I take a rag and try to wash the muck and dried blood off my body. I finally look in the mirror and I see why Jack didn't want me to go to the Lodging House right away. My eyes are black and blue from the lack of sleep and from the various bruises, there are gashes and cuts across my face and body, my wrists are deep purple from the multiple times I was chained up, almost my entire upper body looks like one black, there's so many bruises on me and my hair is completely matted.

I try to soap up my hair in the sink, that's the worst thing everything else I can cover. Miss Medda walks in and hands me fresh clothes, new clothes. She bought me clothes? I just smile nonverbally thanking her, she nods and leaves me alone to change. I gingerly put the shirt and pants on laughing that she didn't even bother to get me a dress or skirt. Luckily the clothes are a little baggy so they aren't touching me bruises and scars. I walk out back to Medda and Jack pulling at the long sleeves to cover the bruises on my wrists. Jack hands me a fur coat and I know Medda bought that too. I hug her and silently Jack and I head to the Lodging House.

When we get there its quiet and dark Jack closes the door very slowly trying not to make a sound. Katherine comes down the hall and I notice she is starting to show, when she sees me she stops and covers her mouth with her hands. I smile back at her and hold my arms out as if to say "ta-da" Katherine runs and hugs me kissing the top of my head. She holds me in her arms for a moment when I hear this thunderous roar, I look up and all the boys are barreling down the stairs and the stop at the bottom. I brake my hold with Katherine and slightly wave at the boys. I could tell they didn't know what to do or say so I walk towards them and they look down, confused I look too and I realize my left leg is dragging ever so slightly giving me a limp. Crutchie limps towards me and we meet halfway.

"Welcome home Sis," he says smiling. I smile and hug him. Crutchie's voice was so sweet and pure it was like nothing I have ever heard since my mother died.

"Hey Crutch now we have matching limps!" I laugh trying the defuse the tension. Crutchie laughs back and says, "yeah but mine is my right leg yours is your left leg."

"His and hers," I say back and they rest of the boys laugh and begin to crowd me hugging me and patting me on the back. Everything was fine until Elmer meaning to grab my hand accidentally grabbed my wrist. I hiss in pain, closing my eyes and jerking my hand back. Closing my eyes was the wrong thing to do, I was back at the refuge with Gordon. I start to cry and Jack grabs me, sitting down right there on the ground and pulls me on to his lap. He shushes me and rocks me until I calm down. The newsies not knowing what to do head back up the stairs to their room. When I look up there is one boy still standing there, a red head with his cap on backwards. A boy I never thought I would see again. He slowly walks towards us trying not to make any sudden movements; reaching us he kneels beside Jack, and I immediately throw my arms around his neck.

"I told you to forget about me." I whisper in his ear, fighting back tears of joy to see him again.

"I could never forget you Foxy. I love you." He says hugging me tighter. I wince but I don't let on the pain I'm in.

"I love you too Al."


	9. Chapter 9: Sick Day

**Hey guys! We all know baby Jatherine is coming soon so I'd love to hear if you think its a boy or a girl and what you'd want the name to be!**

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It's been about three weeks since Jack saved me from the Refuge and everything has gone back to some form of a routine. Albert explained that I was in there for almost six weeks. Katherine is now five months along and getting bigger every day, the boys are placing bets on what they think the baby will be. So far most of them think it is going to be a girl, Elmer is still betting on twins with one of each. The boys walk me to the theater every morning and one of them walks me to and from the Deli for lunch. Then they will walk me back to the Lodging House at night. This morning I wasn't feeling that great.

"Are you sure you don't want someone to stay with you?" Albert asks for the millionth time while stroking my hair. He is always afraid to leave me alone. He won't say it to me but I think he blames himself for us getting caught by Snyder that night. That's why he enforces the idea that the group walks me to and from the theater. I would protest but I know it's pointless, Race may be in command but Albert is his second and he has just as much authority.

"Albert I'll be fine, I probably just ate some bad food last night it's nothin to worry about. I'll be better by tomorrow I just need some rest." I smile to give him some reassurance. I'm doing my best to keep my eyes open just talking to him. I yawn and my head dips for a second before I wake myself up again.

"You are always tired Fox, maybe you should see" I cut him off.

"Doctors cost money Albert, and we just don't have enough right now. I promise I'm fine go carry the banner and sell a few extras for me," I wink and Race pats Albert on the back and nods to the door, they need to get going soon. Albert kisses my forehead and Race all but throws Al out the door.

I feel it coming and run to the bathroom to empty my stomach. Just great, I really need to get back to the theater, I've got at least four costumes I need to finish making and about seven that I need to repair. Medda loved my peacock costume so much she has made me head costume designer, "between Jack's backdrops and your costumes, we'll make millions!" I think were her exact words. I lie in the bathroom and fall asleep on the floor. The nightmares are starting to subside enough that I can sleep a little better. Of course, the guys have never complained when I woke up crying and they all offer their beds to sleep in if I need a brother to cuddle with, but I still feel bad about it.

When I wake up I'm feeling a little better, so I decide to go to the theater. I put on one of Albert's shirts and the coat that Miss Medda got for me and make the cold trek. When I get to the theater they are in the middle of rehearsal so I try to sneak off to the costume room, but Medda catches me and gives the girls a five-minute break.

"Fox! Albert said you were sick," I've asked her to not call me Elizabeth anymore as it just brings back the memories of being in the Refuge, she agreed that I needed a new name because I was a new person, so Fox it is. She gives me a concerned look. Everyone gives me that look now, like I'm going to break down at any moment. I wave her off.

"I'm sure it was just something I ate last night, no big deal. I'm just going to work on those costumes," I walk away before she has a chance to protest. The Manhattan Newsies mean well walking me everywhere and making sure I'm always taken care of but they are driving me crazy. The costume room is the only place I'm alone and I revel in it. No one bothers me and I can do what I please without someone breathing down my neck. I work on the costumes that only need mending first since they won't take me nearly as long. I finish the fourth costume when Miss Medda stops by to check on me.

"Everything going okay in here?" That's strange she never checks on me, Albert must have made this sickness sound worse than it is. I feel completely fine now, but I know how much he worries.

"I'm fine Miss Medda, and I'm about half way finished with the costumes that only needed to be mended." I smile and give her a thumbs up.

"Alright just don't work yourself too hard if you aren't feeling great, and let someone know if you need anything." She gives my shoulder a squeeze and I just nod. After I finish mending all the costumes, it's about time for lunch, I know the guys will get mad if I walk by myself but I am hungry. Weighing the pros and cons, my stomach wins and I grab my coat and start towards the Deli.

The guys don't notice me when I first walk in and I sit next to Crutchie. He smiles and offers me the other half of his sandwich I take it and immediately bite into it. The moment the start to chew I get sick. I run to the bathroom as fast as I can, after I clean myself up I'm greeted at the door by Race, Crutchie, and Albert.

"I thought you were going to stay in bed?" Albert asks with his arms folded on his chest.

"I was feeling better and I was hungry what's the big deal?" I cross my arms matching Al not masking my pissed off expression.

"The big deal is you are sick and you don't need to be walking around in this weather, and you especially don't need to be walking alone. I was going to bring you some lunch before I went back to selling." I walk back towards the table with the boys right on my heels. Davey brings me a glass of water and I ask for a peanut butter sandwich.

"I'm fine, I think my stomach just didn't agree with Crutchie's sandwich." Crutchie gives me a weird look as he sits back in his chair. "Fox it's a turkey sandwich with mustard and pickle, our favorite." Davey comes back with my sandwich and there's a large pickle spear on the plate, I can smell it before it hits the table.

"Davey I'm sorry but could you please take away the pickle," I say in between gagging. All four of them look at each other confused but Davey takes the pickle, leaving the sandwich. I eat while the boys just sit there watching me not saying anything. Most of the other boys already left to get back to the street to try to sell on the freezing day. It's going to start snowing any day now and that's only going to make selling worse so they have to try to sell as much as they can now while people are still willing to buy.

After I finish Albert insists to walk me back to the Lodging House, we argue for a few blocks until I convince him to let me go back to the theater.

"Want to come upstairs and see my new costumes I've made?" Even though he makes me so mad I could spit I do miss him when we are apart. "I'll come see them when I pick you up tonight, I've got to sell these papes or I'm not going to have any money for Christmas."

"Albert Christmas is still a month away and you know you don't have to give the boys extravagant gifts, just spending time together is fine." He just smiles and kisses my forehead, pulling up his collar and walking back towards his spot. I shake my head watching him walk away. That boy is something else. I go back to the costume room and start on a new project. Kaitlyn and a few others are doing a dance routine to tell the story of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. Kaitlyn will be the Queen of Hearts and her costume will be the most elaborate so I start with that. I begin with the bodice keeping it simple and tight. Yawning I try to keep my eyes open while sewing but they seem so heavy, maybe a five-minute nap wouldn't hurt. I pile up the fabric in the corner and lie inside covering with it like a blanket to take a little nap.

I wake up to the sound of a loud sigh, when I open my eyes Albert is standing over me. "I thought you had to go back to selling" I question him as I stretch out my arms and legs. He helps me to my feet.

"Fox I've already sold all my papes its eight o'clock and all the guys are waiting downstairs," eight o'clock dang it I didn't get hardly anything done. Oh well, I'll just get here early tomorrow and stay a little later. Albert helps me down the stairs, my leg never healed quite right so sometimes stairs can be tricky, but I get by. All of us huddle together to keep warm as we walk to the Lodging House. Romeo is telling about how he met this new girl.

"I think her name was Sarah or Susan or something that started with an S. I'm telling you Race she was a complete DOLL" I laugh and shake my head. He of course will start talking about how she is the one he'll marry.

"Race I'm serious I'm going to marry this girl."

"That's what you said about the girl at the ice cream parlor," I chime in.

"And the milkman's daughter," Mush pipes up.

"And Katherine's cousin," Finch says.

"Besides Romeo you can't even remember this one's name," Race puts Romeo in a headlock. Romeo struggles and breaks free.

"I don't have to know her name, I know her heart," the entire group groans and hits him with their hats or smacks him on the back of the head. We make it back to the Lodging House and go to the table to sit down and eat. It's not much but it's food. Potato stew. I eat and Albert looks at me cocking his head to the side.

"Is that my shirt?" I smile and nod. "I helped me feel better." He just laughs and continues to eat. We listening to Race talk about his great day at the races. Apparently, it's too cold for the actual races so the same people just go up there to play poker. Race sold almost fifty papes for those guys to use for a fire while they played. In return they let him play with no fuss and he made about fifteen dollars. The moment he said that all the boys were up and crowding around him to see that much money. Racetrack loves the attention but he did something I wasn't expecting.

"Here Jack I want you to have half of it. It'll help with rent and maybe have some for the baby." Jack has tears in his eyes. He and Katherine both jump up and hug Race thanking him. I whisper to Albert.

"Has money gotten tight around here?" Al looks at the group hug.

"When Jack and Katherine took over this place they stopped making us pay for our stay, with rent, trying to fix up the place, food, and now the baby things were getting pretty rough. The older ones try to give when we can if we make a little extra but with the snow about to start and Christmas coming up who knows when will be the next time we get any extra. Race was stupid for gambling a great payday, but thank God he's the best poker player in Manhattan."

After dinner, I stay behind to help wash dishes with Katherine. "So, the boys said something about you being sick this morning." Here we go again.

"It wasn't anything, I'm fine." I say as I continue to wash the plates and hand them to Katherine to dry.

"And Davey said something about you getting sick at the Deli," I throw down the plate in my hand into the sink.

"Why is everyone so concerned about my business, I'M FINE ALRIGHT!" I shout. I sigh "I'm sorry I didn't mean to get angry." Katherine continues to dry her plate not looking at me. After a minute, she sets the plate aside and takes my hand leading me to the table. She sits at the head of the table and I sit on her left.

"Fox, you were sick this morning, you are always tired, you got sick after eating pickles and you love pickles," Katherine gives me a look like all that should mean something to me.

"So?"

"Fox, when was your last period?"


	10. Chapter 10: Baby Blues

**Hey my beautiful readers! This chapter was super fun to write and I am very excited for what is to come. I can't wait to read all your thoughts!**

 **Fanz4life: I'm not going to lie I laughed out loud at your "How am I taking it" comment. I love your reviews and your sweet words of encouragement so thank you :)**

 **bexlynne: Please continue to rant in my review section I absolutely love hearing your thoughts!**

 **Les Phansie: I know! This isn't some little vaudeville I'm reviewing. Am I insane? This is what I've been waiting for.**

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"I'M WHAT!?" I shout while pacing the floor. No, this can't be happening to me. How am I going to be able to look at _it_ knowing who the father is, how could I possibly tell Crutchie, Albert will never speak to me again. My hands go to my stomach. _Pregnant_. It can't be true.

"Fox, we don't know for sure yet. It's too early to tell, it could just be stress," Katherine is rubbing my back trying to calm my breathing. Jack has now joined the table and just watching us. After about twenty minutes of listening to my inner struggle he speaks up.

"Hey, sweetheart you know we will all be here for you no matter what. You is family and family don't go nowhere in times of trouble. Whatever happens you can count on your brothers." I let out a sigh trying to believe what he says is true. I feel so ashamed how could I have ever let this happen.

"What kind of life could I give this child?" I fall into a chair and bury my face in my hands and start crying.

"One filled with love and happiness" I look up wiping my eyes and I see Crutchie. He limps towards the table and sits beside me. He takes my hands in his "this baby may not have been conceived in love but I promise you they will always be loved, cherished, and happy. You are the kindest person I have ever met and we would all help out. Plus with Jack and Kathy's baby they would always have a friend. Fox, don't remember the bad stuff when you look at this baby, remember the love that we have for you."

I throw my arms around Crutchie and cry into his shoulder. He rubs my back and just holds me. How did I get so lucky to have a brother like him. Crutchie kisses my temple and I stand up trying to gain my composure.

"How am I supposed to tell the boys?" I ask the group and they just look around to each other clearly as clueless as I am.

"Well we aren't sure yet, so why don't you just wait until Christmas and see before you tell them." Katherine explains and I agree. Christmas seems like a good time to announce. A happy time. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. Jack and Katherine excuse themselves to their room and Crutchie helps me finish the dishes I had completely forgotten about. I wash while Crutchie dries.

"What are you thinking about?" Crutchie asks not looking at me.

"Hmm?" Crutchie laughs, "your eyebrows are furrowing, that means you are thinking about something." I can't help but laugh he knows me so well its scary.

"I'm just trying to figure out how will Al react when I tell him, we never really defined our relationship it just happened. I'm not even sure how I feel about the baby how can I expect him to be okay with it? And Race. What on earth is he going to say? This place is for Newsies and now it's turning into Baby Land." I throw my hands up for emphasis and out of frustration.

"Baby Land?" Crutchie breaks into hysterics.

"Oh, shut up I couldn't think of a place full of babies," I hit him lightly with a towel.

"I think you worry too much, Fox, Race is an Italian, he loves kids and this is the big family he has always dreamed of. As far as Albert goes it may be hard at first and he'll need time, but so will you. Just try not to worry about it until Christmas." He always knows what to say. I give him a hug. "Thanks, Crutchie."

"Anytime," we finish up and go back up to the boys, most of them are still awake. I watch as Albert is showing one of the younger boys, Shiner, how to play poker. He came to live here while I was at the Refuge, and watching him just breaks my heart. He's the youngest one here at only nine. Race told me he got his name because he used to shine shoes, and when he asked to be a Newsie he was sporting a terrible black eye so Shiner it was. I can't help but smile at the young boy, he looks so excited to be a part of something and now in the Newsies he has family to help him. Albert looks up at me and smiles giving a slight wave. I wave back. I start to walk towards him when Race stands up and makes the announcement it's lights out so I just go to my bunk. Shiner follows me to his bunk which is under mine.

"Foxy did you see me? I was almost winning!" I laugh at his enthusiasm, he was always smiling.

"Well keep practicing, you might be the first to beat Racetrack." I say as I climb onto my bed.

"In his dreams, Foxy, although he could probably beat Elmer." Race says across the room smiling his big grin with his cigar hanging out of his mouth.

"Anyone can beat Elmer," all the boys say at once earning a "hey!" from Elmer and a roaring laugh from everyone else. I lean down over Shiner's bed and whisper.

"Well I believe you could beat Racer one day, Albert's come close once or twice so it could happen." I give him a wink and right myself back on my bed. Race cuts out the lights and everyone gets settled. I'm almost asleep when I hear a small whisper, "Hey, Fox?"

I lean back over. "Yes?"

"Would you mind sleeping in my bed tonight?" My heart breaks. Shiner became an orphan in September, that's why he needed to shine shoes. The orphanage he was staying at didn't have enough room when winter started so he had to find somewhere else to stay and that's how he found the Newsies. He tries to act tough like the older boys but he is still a little kid and I know what it's like to miss a parent. I crawl into his bed and wrap my arms around him. He snuggles into my side. "Fox?"

"Mhmm?"

"Are you and Albert going to get married one day like Jack and Katherine?" I smile looking at the boy I can barely see in the moonlight coming from the window.

"I don't know Shiner, maybe one day." I kiss his forehead and he smiles. "I think you will, just make sure you visit all the time." I can't help but let out a chuckle.

"We would never be far away from you," I say ruffling his hair. He sighs and falls asleep, hopefully having sweet dreams. It's going to be okay, whatever happens with this baby we can get through anything.

I wake up the next morning earlier than the guys so I untangle myself from Shiner's arms and start getting ready. Luckily, I don't feel sick yet so I try to hurry before it hits. I get ready for the day and when I open the door Katherine is standing there in surprise.

"Oh good, you're up, I was just about to get you," she grabs my hand and takes me to a room across the hall. "I have been thinking all night about it and I think this room will be perfect," I look at the room it's a decent size. "This was an extra bedroom if more Newsies ever came, and more space was needed but it wasn't. So, I was thinking when the baby gets here, you two can just move in here. That way you can be with the baby and the boys will still be right there if you need them or they need you." When I turn around Jack is behind Katherine with his arms around her resting his hands on her ever-growing stomach. I turn back to the room and imagine Albert and me standing like that. I imagine us expecting our own child.

I need to get going and finish those costumes I didn't do yesterday and Jack agrees to walk me, while Katherine stays behind. It's officially gotten too cold for her to be going back and forth to work so The Sun has agreed to make her temporary editor so she can work from home. We grab our coats and make our way to the theater.

"Jack, if Katherine ever had another man's child, would you treat it like your own?" Jack was quiet for what seemed like forever. I hold my breath trying to decide if he was going to say the truth or what he just thought I wanted to hear.

"Fox, when Katherine told me she was pregnant I honestly thought I was going to throw up. I wasn't sure if I was ready or how we would be able to afford it. I was really scared, but then I set that aside and realized how wonderful a baby would be. I thought about Katherine reading books to it, and Race teaching them to play poker, I thought about the day they start school and all their uncles going too. Albert is going to be freaked out at first, but I think the idea of being a dad or an uncle or a brother or however you choose to make him a part of your child's life will overpower any fear he may have."

I let out the breath I was holding. The fact that Jack wasn't excited at first when Katherine told him, is probably the most hope I've had. We get to the theater and Jack kisses my cheek and walks towards The World leaving me to my thoughts. I walk in and no one is here yet. I go on up to the costume room and start on Kaitlyn's Queen of Hearts costume.

I finally finish it when I feel the vibrations of someone walking up the stairs. I turn and see Albert holding a wrapped sandwich. "You didn't come to the Deli so I thought I would bring you something to eat." I look up at the clock and it's two thirty.

"I'm sorry I got caught up in work, I lost track of time. Thank you." I take the sandwich and sit to eat. Thank goodness, he got me peanut butter because I don't want to try to explain why I can't eat it if it had a pickle on it. Albert pulls up another chair which is weird since he is usually in a hurry to get back to the street to sell.

"You will never believe what happened to me on the way here." His smile is the biggest I have ever seen it. "What Albert?" I ask taking another bite.

"I've been given a job, like a REAL job Fox!" I almost choke on my sandwich. "That's great! Doing what?"

"Well you know how I have a thing with numbers?" I nod mouth full of peanut butter. "Well this man was walking past me with a book full of numbers and arithmetic. Well we accidentally bumped into each other and he dropped his book. I picked it up and noticed his figures were wrong and commented on it. He looked at me like I was stupid, but when I explained what was wrong it turns out I was right. He said if I could notice that mistake that fast he needed someone like me working for him! I'm going to meet him tomorrow to discuss the job!"

He was practically bouncing. I knew he was starting to think about leaving the Newsies, but I just didn't think it would be so soon. "So, what about the Newsies?" I knew that wasn't what he was expecting me to say because the moment I said it his face dropped. He stood up and looked out the window.

"Fox, I can't be a newsie forever I'm almost eighteen. I'll still stay at the Lodging House until I get enough money to afford my own flat, but soon enough I have to go my own way." I walk over to him and wrap my arms around his waist resting my head on his back between his shoulder blades.

"If that's what you think you should do, but I'm gonna miss you like crazy when you move out." He twists himself in my arms to face me and pulls me to him. "Well I was sort of hoping you would come with me." I look up at him confused and he just laughs.

"This wasn't exactly how I planned for this to go, but I guess now is as good as any time to ask." He slowly goes down on one knee, "I don't have a ring yet, so you'll have to take an IOU, but would you marry my Foxy?" I want to cry tears of joy and jump into his arms, but then I remember my own news. I get on my knees in front of him, hold his face in my hands and kiss him.

"Is that a yes?" He asks kissing me back.

"It's a let's wait and see. Give me until Christmas to think about it, that also gives you time into your new job to see if you really like it." I need to make sure if I'm pregnant or not before we complicate this anymore than it already it. I think about what our life could be like and I think about how lonely my life will be if Christmas doesn't go well.


	11. Chapter 11: Shopping Day

**Here you go my lovely readers Chapter 11. I still haven't decided how I want Fox to tell Albert about the baby so if you have suggestions I would love to hear them. Please leave reviews and feel free to rant or babble or whatever I love hearing from you!**

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It is December first and Miss Medda has let me have the day off to go Christmas shopping. I throw on my coat and wrap my scarf around my neck and walk to my first stop. It has been two weeks since Albert has started his new job and he absolutely loves it. Shiner has taken over Albert's usual selling spots and at night Albert gives him pointers and tells him about his different customers and what stories appeal to who. The boys were pretty upset when Albert broke the news that he would be moving out soon, but they all made sure to tell him they were going to visit every day. Shiner is taking it the hardest though, he's formed a bond with Albert much like Romeo and Race, or Crutchie and Jack. If you didn't know better you would have thought they were brothers. Shiner's hair, while not nearly as red as Albert's, is on the redder side of strawberry blond and those freckles, that boy is just too adorable for his own good. No wonder he is proving himself to be great seller, he has the cuteness factor that would put Les to shame.

I reach the first store and walk inside, I buy all the boys a new coat. They are used coats but they are warmer than the ones they have now. I've been trying to use my costume room to mend shirts and pants as much as possible but eventually they will have to get those new too. I then buy nice new wool socks for the boys. Now it's time to buy the individual gifts. I go to the book store and buy this new book called _The Wonderful Wizard of Oz_ for Crutchie. He has been eyeing it every time we pass and he would never ask for it, but I can't help but smile as I purchase the book for him. I also buy _The Jungle Book_ for Mush, he loves animals especially cats and there's a huge panther on the cover so hopefully he will like it. The next store I go to I get Finch, Henry, and Specs new baseball gloves and a new bat to share. As I walk out of the store someone hugs me from the side.

"Fox!" I readjust my boxes and bags to see Shiner smiling up at me. "Can I help you carry some of your things?" Always the gentleman just like Albert. I hand him a couple of the smaller boxes.

"Don't you need to be selling papes, Shiner?" I ask as he follows me to the next store.

"I've already sold all my papes today I didn't buy as many this time." Now that's strange, Shiner can easily sell fifty papers. "How many did you buy" I question.

"Twenty-five" I almost dropped everything in my hand. "Why would you only sell twenty-five this far from Christmas, Shine? You know selling is going to get harder once people don't have money to spend on a paper from buying presents," I try not to scold, but this was all these boys have. If he doesn't sell papes, he doesn't eat.

"What's the point everyone is just going to leave anyway," ahh so that's what this is about. We pass a candy store and I buy some penny candy for Shiner. We sit on a bench and I let him eat the candy for a moment also allowing me to rest my feet. "Listen Shy, I know you are angry with Albert for leaving, but he isn't leaving anytime soon and you can always go visit. He isn't going to move out of Manhattan. Besides I'm going to really need your help in a few months." His ears perk up at the sound of being needed.

"What do you need me for?" He questions with his stick candy hanging out of his mouth. I can't help but laugh knowing he is trying to look more like Racer.

"Well this has to be our little secret, you can't tell anyone. Promise?" I spit into my hand and hold it out to him. His eyes widen as he takes the candy out of his mouth and spits into his hand and shakes mine. "Promise" he says with a huge grin on his face.

"I'm going to have a baby, and he is going to need a big brother to help look after him," I know I was supposed to wait to tell the boys, but I already knew it was true. I am going to have a baby, and no matter what happens between me and Albert I'm going to need all the help I can get.

"You are going to have a baby just like Katherine?" I nod and giggle at his excitement. "Oh Fox, I promise I'll be the best big brother ever!" He puts the stick candy back into his mouth and grabs the boxes he was helping carry.

"But you gotta set a good example and be a good newsie, which means no more selling yourself short. You need to sell all the papes you can. Got it?" I say holding a finger with a slight authoritative voice.

"Got it!" I grab my boxes and we go to the next store, I get a new set of playing cards for Romeo, some marbles for a few of the younger boys, and I see Shiner looking at a brand new train set. I smile and talk to the clerk for a minute asking about his Christmas, he comments that my son is one of most well-behaved boys that has come into the store. I laugh and say thank you not having the heart to tell him Shiner is not my son, but in the man's defense Shiner doesn't look quite nine and I have always looked much older than sixteen. After the shop clerk finishes checking me out I tell Shiner its time to go. The poor thing looks so disappointed to be leaving the train. We go back to the Lodging House and we have just enough time to wrap the presents and hide them in my future room.

"Is this where the baby will stay?" Shiner asks while setting the boxes in the closet like I asked him to.

"Me and the baby. That way he won't wake you up all the time when he cries, but I'll still be nearby if you need a sister to talk to." I go back downstairs and start helping Katherine with dinner for tonight. Shiner sets the table. Shiner tells Katherine about helping me shop, and getting candy and every other detail, he felt the need to add. The food was almost finished when Katherine was feeling tired so she went back to her room to rest.

"Fox, I heard the shopkeeper call me your son today." Shiner says sitting down at his usual seat at the table.

"You did?" I ask while stirring the soup not sure where this is going.

"I liked it. You remind me a lot of my mama," I hear him sniff and I set the lid on the pot and sit in the chair next to him.

"Shy, it's okay to miss your parents. I miss my mom all the time." I say wiping his tears with my thumb. "You do?" he asks wiping his nose on his sleeve. I laugh at the boy.

"I do, and I've told you before if you ever need to talk to me or Albert or any one of us, we are all here for you." I give him a hug and just hold his head on my shoulder not wanting to let go. I hate when any of my boys are sad but the little ones break my heart the most. I feel a hand on my back and look up to Albert standing over me smiling at the scene. Shiner looks up and practically jumps onto Al. Albert laughs sitting down and listening to Shiner tell him all about what we did today and me buying candy for him. Albert gives me a look and tells Shiner to go upstairs and wash up for dinner since the rest of the gang should be back any minute.

"You bought him candy?" He asks once Shiner was out of earshot.

"Just a couple of pieces of penny candy, he was having a bad day." I reply going back to the soup not daring to make eye contact, I know that tone of voice all too well. It's the same voice he uses on all the younger newsies when they've done something that could get them into trouble.

"You know you coddle him too much, and why wasn't he out selling? He doesn't have many days left until folks stop buying papes." I give him a glass of water and put his coat on the coat hanger in the hall.

"He only bought twenty-five papers today and he found me after he sold them." I thought Albert was going to choke on his water. His eyes almost popped out of his head. "Don't worry I already talked to him about it and he understands he can't do that right now. And I don't coddle him anymore than I do the others." I stick my tongue out at Al and he just laughs standing up and hugging me from behind.

"You coddle us all too much then, but you do show him a little more attention." He rests his head next to mine as I try to continue making the soup. "I don't show him any more favor than you do." Albert laughs knowing I'm right. He kisses my cheek. "You know I love you right?" He asks still holding me. I turn around in his arms and wrap my arms around his neck. "Yeah, but I love you more," I respond kissing his lips, he smiles in the kiss.

"Not possible," and with that he lifts me onto the table and I wrap my legs around his waist and deepen the kiss letting my fingers get tangled in his hair. Things get pretty heated for a minute when I hear "OH GROSS! Come on we eat there!" I look over and see Race, Romeo, and Mush standing in the doorway.

"Shut up Race," Albert says throwing a dish towel at him. My whole face is getting warmer and I just know it looks like a tomato. I go back and stir the soup just so I don't have to look at them and tell them to go get washed up because dinner is ready. They are run upstairs and Albert is back behind me.

"I'm not finished with you," he whispers in my ear and then kisses my neck before heading upstairs himself. The moment he is gone my legs go weak and I have to sit down. Jack and Katherine come in and when they see me they give knowing smiles and look at each other, probably remembering when they first got together. They each pour themselves a bowl of soup and grab a sandwich. As soon as they sit down the rest of the boys come barreling in tossing Romeo's hat keeping it away from him. I clear my throat and they look at me and notice I have Finch and Mush's slingshots and Race's cigar. Knowing the drill, they give Romeo his hat back and I hand them their things.

"How does she keep doing that? I had my cigar behind my ear that time" Race asks Albert.

"Yeah and I have my tight jeans on, there's no way she could have taken my slingshot out of my back pocket without me feeling it," Mush pouts while pouring his soup.

"My girl is just talented like that," Albert says throwing his arm over my shoulder and kissing my temple earning an "EWWWW" from the Newsies. I laugh and fix my own dinner, listening to all the boys talk about their day. Jack is telling Katherine about some mishap that happened at the office and it set back lots of deadlines. Henry accidentally drops some melted cheese on Crutchie's book breaking out an argument between the two boys and Race trying to handle the situation. Some days I forget that Race is almost eighteen and then other days like this moment I think he could be as old as Jack. I eat my soup in silence just watching the scene around me. Suddenly feeling very tired I excuse myself to bed. I dress for bed and immediately fall asleep.

 _It's dark. I feel his arms around me, his hot breath on my neck._

 _Don't touch me! I scream out. No one hears my cries. His grip tightens around my arms, my waist, wait how can he be holding me in so many places. I feel him shake my calling my name._

 _Don't touch me, please not again!_

"Fox, FOX!" I wake up to Albert sitting in the bed next to me and Shiner on my other side in tears sitting as far away from me as he can while still on the bed. Oh no, Shiner must have gotten in the bed with me and that's who I was feeling. I hold out my hand to him and he just shakes his head whispering apologies. I take his hand and pull him onto my lap and just hold him. Albert then sits on the bed pulling me into him between his legs. Once Shiner is back asleep I let him just lay on me. I look at Albert and tell him I'm sorry for scaring everyone.

"Fox, it's okay. But the real question is how are you feeling? The nightmare was more intense that time and the first thing you do when you wake up is comfort Shiner." Albert kisses my temple and runs his hands through my hair.

"I'm fine, Al. I promise, but I had been doing so well and now they are starting to come back. I don't want Shiner to be afraid to come near me thinking he might trigger me." I look down at the sleeping boy and run my fingers through his hair and rocking him very lightly.

"He shouldn't be here Albert, he should be in a home and at a school, not making pennies to survive." Several of the newsies have families that just can't support them so they work and live here and see their families during holidays, some have been orphans since they were babies and don't remember their parents, and a few like me had to escape their families for their own well-being and ended up here. But there is something about having your parents and going to school and having that kind of life and suddenly it being taken away from you; I think that would be the hardest life. It's one thing to have never known love or an easy life and coming here, it's another having the picture-perfect life and then being tossed to the curb.

"I know that's why I've been thinking when we get married and move out, we should take him with us." He hugs me tighter and I'm thankful it's dark so he can't see my face. I look down at the sleeping boy. Oh, how I would love to take him and let him go to school, but would we make enough money to support two kids plus ourselves. I mean, I make decent money at the theater, but if we ever have an off season then money could get tight. Not knowing what to say I just lie my head on Albert's chest and let myself fall asleep in his arms.


	12. Chapter 12: The Truth

**Hello my beauties! I am soooo sorry it has taken me so long to post, I got super sick for a while, and then with work and the holidays life has just been way too crazy. But here is my newest chapter and I can't wait to hear you thoughts and comments so PLEASE review I love hearing from you!**

 **Bexlynne: I'm so glad you love Shiner as much as I do, he makes me happy every time he enters the story. And I'm glad you caught my detail of getting Romeo a deck of cards ;)**

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I wake up to Race cutting on the lights and everyone scurrying around me trying to get ready. I help the younger boys: Shiner, Tommy Boy, Buttons, JoJo and Smalls find their coats and scarves. I get dressed myself starting to feel nauseous, Crutchie notices and gives me a look. I subtly touch my stomach and he gives an understanding nod hurrying the boys out.

"Alright everybody the Nuns won't wait forever in this weather!" and like a stampede they were gone. I thank Crutchie as he squeezes my hand in encouragement and limps off as well. I sit in the bathroom for a few minutes waiting to throw up but luckily the feeling passed and I walk out the door only to run into Albert.

"Hey, you," he says with a cheeky grin leaning with his weight on his right forearm against the doorframe. His hair is in a complete mess sticking every which way, and he is only wearing pants and his suspenders with no shirt. I blush trying not to stare at his extremely muscular arms so I settle for looking at my feet. I've known him for about three months now but he still makes my heart skip a beat. Neither one of us say anything for a minute and he crosses his arms over his chest making my breath catch in my throat.

"Shouldn't you be going to work?" I question finally getting the courage to look into his eyes. He smirks with that half grin he does so well and picks me up and sets me on the bathroom counter.

"Work can wait, I told you last night I wasn't finished with you," and before I could reply Albert's lips crash onto mine. I tangle my fingers in his hair pulling him closer to me wrapping my legs around him. He starts kissing my neck and I lean my head back to give him a better angle. He picks me up kissing me and tosses me onto his bed. The moment he is on top of me I am back in that awful place. The tears start coming down and I push Albert off me. I look up at him and see the hurt in his eyes.

"I'm sorry," I cry shaking my head and running out the door into my future room. I lock the door behind me, and slide down sitting on the floor with my back to the door. Albert knocks and asks me to let him in but I just ignore it.

"Foxy, you don't have to always pretend you are okay when you aren't. You went through a lot in that hellhole, I don't expect you to be one hundred percent better right now, let me help you get better." I wipe my tears and slowly open the door only cracking it about an inch and a half.

"What if I never get better Albert?" I ask in a low voice. What kind of life can we have if I can't give him all of my heart without going into fight or flight mode.

"I refuse to believe that. It may take a while, but we have our whole lives ahead of us to get you better. We aren't in any rush to start a family." I open the door all the way and he hugs me, "Foxy, I promise I will work every day to be what you need, I will never leave you or abandon you." I sigh thinking about what he said about starting a family. Okay Fox it's now or never.

"Albert, I'm pregnant," I say into his chest refusing to look up at him. I feel his arms tighten around me ever so slightly as he goes stiff. I take a step back so I can look at his face. "It happened while I was at the Refuge, Albert I'm so sorry I didn't mean for it to happen, but it did. I can't give this baby up to an orphanage I've seen those places and I want this baby to know love. If you don't want to be a part I understand, but I'm bringing a baby into this world and from now on we are a package deal. I hope you can understand, you don't have to be their father, you can be just a loveable uncle or brother or however you want. That's why I didn't accept your proposal, I can't lead you on anymore without you knowing the full situation." Albert stays quiet looking around the room, looking at me I can tell he is searching for words. I don't really know what to say either, we both just stand there not really sure what to do.

"I'm going to be late for work," he says almost in a whisper breaking the silence.

"I'll walk you out," we walk down stairs and he grabs his coat and I hand him his scarf. He walks to the door and I follow. "Will you be at the Deli for lunch today?" I whisper hoping he would at least say something.

"I'm not sure," and with that he was gone. No goodbye, no goodbye kiss, not even an I love you. I take a deep breath. Get it together Fox, you knew this would be hard. Give him time, he'll come around. I grab my own coat and scarf and walk to the theater. I don't talk to anyone finishing the last touches on the costumes, making sure everyone's fits, and then I sit in the back of the auditorium watching the rehearsals to see how the costumes look on stage. People come in and out throughout the day and I continue the process trying to keep my mind off the events this morning. I sit in the back of the theater making notes here and there when I see Crutchie limping towards me with a bag.

"You know Medda will kill you if she catches you with food in here." I say as he sits in the seat next to me.

"Well when you didn't come to the Deli I thought you might be hungry. Albert didn't come either so I figured he would be here too, where is he?" Crutchie asks looking around. I take the bag from him and unwrap the sandwich. I bite into the turkey suddenly remembering I was hungry.

"He isn't here, and after this morning he may never talk to me again." I say with a mouth full of food. Crutchie gives a questioning look so I swallow. "I told him I was pregnant." Crutchie's eyes grew about six times their size and his mouth fell open.

"I thought you were going to wait until Christmas?" I took another bite replaying this mornings events and trying to decide if waiting would have made the situation any better. "Well the way he's been talking about our future, I just couldn't let him go on thinking about that until he knew the truth."

"He asked you to marry him, didn't he?" Crutchie asks as if he already knew the answer. It was my turn to give a questioning look. "I heard him talking to Race about saving up for a ring or waiting until he got his own place first and then getting a ring. What did he say when you told him?"

"He didn't say anything he just went to work. I'm hoping after he's had a while to think about it he will at least sit down and talk to me." I finish my sandwich and lay my head on Crutchie's shoulder. I let out a sigh and Crutchie puts his head on top of mine.

"He will come around Fox, just give him time. You aren't even married and he has to decide if he wants to be a husband AND a father to a child that isn't his. That can't be an easy decision for anyone." I know Crutchie is right but that doesn't stop the tear coming down my cheek at the thought that I have lost Al forever. My hands go to my stomach, could I give this child up? I think back to Shiner, the orphanage all but kicked him out because there wasn't much room, I couldn't do that to this baby. No, keeping it is the right decision.

"You're doing the right thing Fox, and it was probably better in the long run to tell him now rather than later. Are you still going to wait until Christmas before you tell the rest of the fellas?" I wipe my tears and sit up looking at him.

"I guess it all depends on Albert." Crutchie nodded and after a few more minutes went back to the street to sell what he could while I stayed to finish up rehearsals. Some of the girls after rehearsal wanted to go to some local place to drink and invited me to go, but I made up some terrible excuse about helping the boys with something. They look suspicious but nod and leave, and again I am alone. I go up to costume room, my little safe haven, and begin to sew. I find some old fabric too worn out to use for anything practical and just play around with it.

I feel the vibrations of someone coming up the stairs, I continue my little project. "Give me a minute Crutchie I'm almost done," I hear a slight laugh and I turn to see Race at the door. "Sorry Race, I assumed you were Crutchie." He walks over to the table to look at what I'm doing and sees two green baby outfits, and two pairs of knitted green booties to match.

"Crutchie needed to go back to the Lodging House, this weather is starting to take it out of him." I look at him and he is staring at the clothes. "Albert told me about the baby."

"What did he say?" I ask hopeful Race would have some good news to share.

"He still isn't sure Fox, but don't be mad it's a lot to take in. He also blames himself for it happening in the first place." I knew he was still feeling guilty about us getting caught that night, why didn't I think he would blame himself for this too?"

"He knows I don't blame him right?" Race gives me a sympathetic look and squeezes my shoulder. He didn't say anything, but he didn't have to, I already knew. Albert just needs time. Every time I push him away he thinks that it is his fault, this baby is his fault, my nightmares are his fault, and no amount of reassurance is going to take that guilt away from him right now.

"This morning he said we would work together to get me better, please tell him I will do the same for him. I know he isn't going to want to talk to me tonight." Race sighs and nods towards the door signaling we should head back to the Lodging House. We walk in silence the whole way which is very unusual for Race, but it was also unusual for him and Albert to be apart. I ignore it and walk in, it must be later than I thought because no one was in the kitchen except for Katherine and Jack cleaning up.

I walk in and they immediately stop talking, I assume it was none of my business anyway. "Oh Fox, there's still a little food on the stove for you." I thank her and fix a small bowl of beans and rice and sit at the table and eat, Jack gives Katherine a look and they excuse themselves to their bedroom. I sit alone again and eat my supper. Shiner comes in when I am almost done and sits in the chair next to me.

"Shiner, what's going on? Everyone is acting weird." Shiner's smiling face drops and he shrugs.

"I don't know nothin," he doesn't make eye contact so I know he's lying. Shiner can lie to sell any day of the week, but the moment he has to lie to me he chokes up. I decide it might be best to not press the subject so I just finish my food and wash my bowl in the sink. We walk up together and everyone is messing around like usual but you can sense that something is different. I walk towards my bed to get ready when I pass Albert's bed and that's when I notice, he still hasn't come home yet. I shake it off, he might have just had a busy day at the office. I change and sit next to Crutchie on his bed.

"Whatcha readin?" I ask only slightly interested. He smiles and lets out a small laugh, "a book." Smart ass.

"Read to me." I say resting my back against his pillow and laying my feet in his lap. Crutchie just laughs and begins to read where he is at in the middle of his book. I'm really not sure what is going on but I'm also only halfway paying attention. I keep the corner of my eye fixed on the door waiting for Albert to come home.

After about an hour of reading and watching the boys play cards or marbles or whatever Race gets up and tells everyone lights out. I look to Crutchie and he gives a sympathetic look telling me what I already figured out, Albert isn't coming home tonight. Crutchie hugs me and scoots around lifting the blanket for me to get in with him. He already knew I wasn't going to be able to sleep tonight not knowing where Albert is. Race turns out the lights and I silently cry thinking about how I've messed up. I've heard the guys talk about how Albert and Race are real lady's men when they want to be, who knows what he has gone to for the night, for comfort, I've driven him right into the arms of another woman.


End file.
